— Or, where to find a romantic rendez-vous to reconnoiter? –
By Theolonius McTavish, currently a ribald roving reporter (with an abiding interest in arcane topics like curious, odd, or downright postively playful placenames), and part-time errant carpet knight, (a left-over piece of Karma from a previous lifetime)
Valentine’s Day is rolling around again. What would February 14th be without all those wretched little red, cinnamon-flavored candy hearts and calorie-laden chocolate candy kisses?
Well, if you’re not into any of these sumptuous “sweet nothings”, maybe a Valentine vacation might do the trick. If so, you’ve got plenty of “hot” spots to choose from in North America.
For the benefit of mapless folk, North America includes the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and that cold comfort country (on the other side of the 49th parallel, just a tad due south of Santa’s hangout at the North Pole lies an off-the-beaten track place) called, “Canada”.
For the digitally-inclined, a quick peek at any road atlas or an on-line GPS geo-locator service will certaintly whet one’s appetite for a romp in the hay with a sizzling “Voluptuous Vixen” or a secret rendez-vous with a “Rudolph Valentino”, far away from the madding crowds.
Let’s see, my list of romantic reconnoitering retreats includes these humdingers and doozies. They may look a tad over-the-top, but I’ll have you know these little gems actually exist.
So Don Juan, Casanova and Romeo, not to mention the damsels-in-distress like Juliet and all the other divas …what are your waiting for? Just grab your gear, step on the gas and hit the highway of life. And don’t forget to stop off at these delightful destinations to get in the mood and set hearts a flutter!
On second thought, perhaps you’d like to think twice about your last-minute libidinal travel plans. After all you, may have to blow some serious coin in all these pleasure palaces filled with all manner of decadent indulgences or at the very least how to cope with the red heart-shaped balloon-filled events.
Hmmmm…let’s see where to begin…
Bella Bella (British Columbia – Canada) Bigger (Saskatchewan – Canada) Bird-In-Hand (Pennsylvania) Bliss Landing (British Columbia – Canada) Blue Ball (Pennsylvania) Bummerville (California) Camelot (Texas); Camelot Beach (Ontario – Canada) Climax (Colorado, Minnesota, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Saskatchewan – Canada) Clo-oose (British Columbia – Canada) Cockeysville (Maryland) Comfort (Texas) Conception (Missouri) Conception Bay (Newfoundland & Labrador) Cupids (Newfoundland & Laborador) Dildo (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Dixville (Quebec – Canada) Dropmore (Manitoba – Canada) Eden (Texas) Fannie (Arkansas) Fanny Bay (British Columbia – Canada) Fertile (Saskatchewan – Canada) French Lick (Indiana) Garden of Eden (Nova Scotia – Canada) Glasscock (Texas) Goochland (Virginia) Groom (Texas) Halfway (Texas) Happy, Happy Union (Texas) Heart’s Content, Heart’s Delight, Heart’s Desire (all in Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Hitchland (Texas) Holdfast (Saskatchewan – Canada) Hoo Hoo (West Virginia) Hoop & Holler (Texas) Intercourse (Alabama, Pennsylvania) Kinkora (Prince Edward Island – Canada) Kissimmee (Florida) Little Paradise (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Little Heart’s Ease (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Little Seldom (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Lolita (Texas) Love (Saskatchewan – Canada) Love Ladies (New Jersey) Lovelock (Nevada, Utah) Loving (Texas) Matador (Texas) Needmore (Texas) Nippers Harbour (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Nuttsville (Virgina) Ochiichagwebabigoining (Ontario – Canada — if anybody can pronounce this one, let me know!) Ogle (Kentucky) Paradise (Nova Scotia – Canada) Peel (New Brunswick – Canada) Plum Coulee (Manitoba – Canada) Point Comfort (Texas) Red Head Cove (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Ripples (New Brunswick – Canada) Romeoville (Illinois) Sackville (New Brunswick) Sexsmith (Alberta – Canada) Shag Harbour (Nova Scotia – Canada) Smackover (Arkansas) Smuts (Saskatchewan – Canada) Snag (Yukon Territory – Canada) Snooks Arm (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Snug Harbour (Ontario – Canada) Spread Eagle (Wisconsin) Sugar Tit (South Carolina) Sweet Bay (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Sweet Lips (Tennessee) Tickle Cove (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Tiger Lily (Alberta – Canada) Toogood Arm (Newfoundland & Labrador – Canada) Trophy Club (Texas) Truth or Consequences (New Mexico) Valentine (Nebraska, Texas) Wink (Texas) Wolfe City (Texas) Yum Yum (Tennessee)
Now the real question is, just how many folks really admit to residing in these “hot” little communities, and how many just visit to regale their friends with titillating trivia at the next “show and tell” Valentine’s party?
— May the Power of the Pucker Be With You and Your’s On This Auspicious Occasion! —
Theolonius McTavish, currently a rambunctious roving reporter with oodles of time on his hands, and precious little to ponder except eccentric things happening over at the Court of the Quipping Queen — www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com — Copyright Theolonius McTavish 2005